I kept wondering if I should write this post or not, I've always wanted my blog to be a positive place and keep negative stuff away. Why? I've always seen blogging as an escape, a place to write about things I love, hobbies etc. I read blogs to get inspired and revel in the beauty in the world that I often miss. But sometimes, its good to vent anger, letting it simmer away is never healthy, and talking about it, even on a blog post is a good release to let it all out, I might find someone who understands or had the same problem.
I'm twenty three years old and I've been working in retail for the past two (nearly three) years, I never went to University, I didn't want to, my career goals have always been creative ones and I personally thought University wouldn't be as beneficial to me, and going would have been a waste of time and money. Now my Sister, whose twenty two wants to be a primary teacher, so she has to go to University to get a degree etc. The fact that we both have different career goals is a good thing, we are both working towards something we dream of doing, I'm constantly making things, writing etc. in hope that I can make my dreams a reality, but according to my Sister I can't have a career because I haven't been to University, she is wrong on so many levels. Today she decided to pick an argument with me, which went with her saying to me "What are you even doing with your life, you're twenty three with no career. Its either career or kids and you don't even want kids, what kind of woman doesn't want kids." My sister has her life planned out, she'll finish University, get her dream job, go traveling, get married at twenty eight and then have kids by the time she is thirty. Life is never what we plan it to be, when I was younger I thought by the time I was twenty three I would have a career (but please do tell me how many twenty three years have their dream career at this age?) I also thought I would have a mortgage and be living in a cute little cottage, that hasn't happened either. I'll be happy if my sister does get everything she wants in the time she has planned but realistically, how often does that happen? When you grow up your wants/needs change, what I want in my life now is different to what I wanted five years ago and I'm sure in five years time everything would have changed again.
But the fact that today my Sister pretty much told me my life was sh!t (please excuse the swear!) just pushed me too far. She then proceeded to make me feel like crap for not having any friends, which is essence has a slight truth to it, I don't hang around with the same people I used to when I was sixteen, you grow up, grow apart, the people I used to hang around with stopped talking to me because I don't go out drinking etc. I tried to make plans with them and gave up because they were never interested unless it was going to a club, a lot of my friends stopped talking to me because they didn't like my boyfriend, my best friend who I knew for fifteen years told me I needed to break up with him (since she was now friends with his ex-girlfriend) my response was no, so that ended our friendship, I guess life is funny like that, now I spend most of my time with my boyfriend, work people and going to blogging events because that's what genuinely makes me happy. My sister will never understand that.
I've always been a closed of person, I find it hard to talk about certain subjects but that's because I've never felt I've had people around me who support me or really understand me as a person, again my sister was like 'well you never talk to anyone about yourself' which is true and I wish I could but I could never talk to her and that makes me feel so bad, shes my sister, but there are reasons, when I was younger I always kept a diary, any girl knows how intimate and private a diary is, and having someone read it is bad, but knowing your sister actively searched you're bedroom when you wasn't there just so they could read it and then proceed to tell your friends, family etc. what you had written, was hard and embarrassing. When I started to blog, I kept it private from family, my Sister went on my laptop once and ended up finding my blog, she didn't tell me she read it, instead decided to drop immature hints such as 'when we go out are you going to take pictures, so you can blog about it' or 'awh, are you going to write about this on your blog?' I never responded to her, just let her carry on, it was pointless and this made me change my URL to daintyandivory. Once I got into blogging I discovered my love for snail mail, penpals and parcels, my sister read the letters, and again found it funny because I don't have real friends and have to result to penpals... Its hard because if anything you're family should be the ones supporting you, not putting you down etc. I've always been one of those people that if someone tells me their dreams and goals in life I will support them, offer them words of encouragements etc. but I see so many people being negative about others dreams/goals. I also believe that at no matter what age you can make dreams come true, its never too late to start.
Sister rant over...
Oh and if you made it to the end of this post a BIG thank you, and if you want to be a bigger sweetheart I would appreciate any thoughts on this survey (about my plush creations.)