I was sat thinking about what I'm doing with my life whilst I watched the moon slowly eclipse the Sun. I think this goes for many people but adult life is not what I imagined it to be when I was a child dreaming about being grown up, having a grown up job with a house, a car and all other grown up things. Now, I wish I could cling onto those last childhood days where it was still okay not to be sure about your future and what you are doing with your life.
When I imagined about being older I was sure by the time I was 24 I would have moved out of my parent's house and I'd be living a cutesy cottage, I wouldn't have a job I would have a career and by now I would have travelled to a zillion countries and ticked more items of my bucket list.
I'm still living at home, along with my twenty six year old brother and twenty three year old sister, none of us can afford to move out. I am determined to save up enough money for a mortgage and not rent BUT I constantly yearn for that privacy that comes with having your own space. A part of me regrets not saving money when I got my first job at sixteen but at that age you are young and care free and don't always think to save your money. I was in a relationship for five years from the age of eighteen to twenty three, I was sort of hoping that we would've moved out together after saving enough money but that never happened.
I do not have the job of my dreams and I still have no idea where I am going. I want to work with animals, I want to write a book, I want make cute and pretty things and sell them. I want to dabble in a lot of things. But it doesn't give me a direction to follow, I've gone back to college at the age of 24 to study animal care but still when this course is over I have no idea what happens next. Half the time it's hard to even know where to start with all of these things.
Although I have been lucky enough to travel to a few places, I haven't travelled as much as I would have liked, I know the reason for this (another story) and this is one thing I'm trying to conquer!
It's so hard not to worry when you are sitting at home, flicking through facebook for the fiftieth time that day, doing nothing when you could be doing something productive. Time wasting when we could be doing something else, I think we are all guilty of this at times. It is so hard not too compare yourself to others of similar age, the majority of people in my year at school have children, they are engaged, they have good jobs, and they all seem to have their life figured out.
I guess adulthood is a lot different, and I'm still trying to figure it all out but I'm looking forward to the rest of it and hoping things will slowly start to fall in place.