I remember being in school and I hated the thought of Valentine’s day. Every year you could buy anonymous roses to be sent to a boy/girl you like. Every year I would get my hopes up thinking maybe I would get one. I never did. It made me feel pretty bad about myself. I watched the same few girls get more than one rose every year, it was later discovered that they bought their own roses to look ‘popular.’ Which is the point, so many people around this time of year start to feel unwanted and unloved.
The fact that Valentine’s is about love, I do not see why it should be about couples celebrating their love for each other, it should be about love for your family, your friends, even your dog and most importantly love for yourself. But instead I see so many posts or people feeling down about being alone at this time of year. I used to be one of them. I wanted to feel loved by someone, to feel special and not be alone on Valentine’s day and to have a boyfriend to share it with. And well, when I did have a boyfriend it was a big let-down, he was one of those ‘I don’t believe in Valentine’s day but I still expect a present type.’ I would get my hopes up waiting for some romantic gesture which never came, most times he got his mum to cook us dinner and buy his presents for him (that should have been a warning sign.)
I think the most important kind of love is self-love, and I honestly believe you cannot be happy in a relationship or with yourself if you don’t enjoy your own company. That you know you can be alone and be happy. Throughout the years I have seen so many people jumping from one relationship into another out of fear of being alone and I find it sad that so many people have felt like that. It is important to invest in yourself, to learn to love yourself and enjoy being by yourself.
For me self-love is:
Choosing ourselves and making time for yourself. I honestly love being myself and having time to reflect on life or to do something that I enjoy e.g. blogging. It’s about putting my own wants and needs before someone else’s (although at times this may come across as being selfish to some!) but honestly if you don’t put yourself first then how often will someone else?
Loving and accepting yourself as a person, yes I have imperfections, I can be mean and I have an ugly side. But I like who I am as a person, I am happy being me flaws and all.
Being positive and focusing on what makes me happy and trying to not let other people belittle me and bring negative vibes into my life, not letting others people opinions have an impact on me. People can be mean, or make things up but I always say to myself ‘do these people matter to me, will these people be in my life in so many years?’ Most often the answer is no, so I move on with my life.
Forgive yourself, learn from mistakes and move forward and to stop clinging to the past.
And most importantly to dream big! Honestly, setting myself goals is what makes me happy knowing I am working towards ways to improve myself, to push myself past my own boundaries and out of my comfort zones.
So whether you are single or in a relationship this Valentines day remember the importance of self-love!