Do you remember when you were a child and you used to think that anyone above twenty was an adult; then you get to that age and the next minute you are almost thirty (well in four years time) yet you still do not feel like an adult at all and still feel like that child thinking about what it is like to be grown up. That is how I feel. I am twenty six and still live at home, if you had told me this when I was sixteen I more than likely would have laughed, I had big dreams of moving out as soon as I turned eighteen, my own house, all independent. The reality? I can't even begin to imagine ever being able to afford my own house, right now I don't think I could even get by renting somewhere (although I will be moving out in September due to going to University, which without a student loan I would not be able to afford.)
For me, something that I really hate about living at home is the lack of feeling independent, I feel stuck somewhere in-between being a child and an adult. I want to feel in charge of my life, to be able to make my own life choices without being frowned upon, to not always have to explain my actions. Living at home you always have your family watching over you, analysing the mistakes you make, there are things in your life that you might not always want to share with your family, to keep it to yourself, living at home that isn’t always possible. Every time I go out I am met with questions: Who are you going out with? Who are they? Where do I know them from? The list goes on, I know on part this is a way of my family showing an interest and that they care but it would also be nice to leave the house without having to answer to someone. God forbid, I mention a male name, conclusions are jumped to and I have to explain that yes females and males can be just friends.
After going back into education and working at the same time I am more or less busy seven days a week, sometimes I might give myself a day of college to recharge or to catch up on work. Yet, because I am at home I feel guilty for this, my parents question me on why I haven’t gone, they judge my choice of not going because they think I will pretty much fail the course by missing a day here and there. At the end of the day it is my decision and I hate feeling like I have to explain myself.
Apart of me feels like my parents do not really fully understand how difficult it is for younger people when it comes to getting work, saving money and actually moving out. It is incredibly hard and one of my dad favourite sayings to me is ‘When am I going to get a real job and move out?’ along with endlessly questioning me what I am doing with my life.
Being at home means you are still dependent on your parents in ways, and although it is a perk to not have to worry about paying an endless amount of bills, that there will always be food on the table, everything is provided for you and its great not having to think about these things but a part of me feels like I lack a vital skill of taking care of myself; that due to living at home that I might completely fall apart when I do move out.
I am also someone who loves having their own space, taking time out for myself and being alone. Living with four people who are family where there are pretty much no boundaries, alone time is possible but very rare. I relish the odd day when I do actually have the house to myself and actually watch a TV show by myself without having someone come in and talk all the way through it or when I can have a bath or shower without someone knocking the door down to use the toilet. Your bedroom is meant to be your own little space, and although I knock on people’s doors before entering that courtesy isn’t always bestowed upon me. The fear of getting changed but being slightly on guard out of fear someone might just barge in isn’t a nice one.
One thing I really dislike its talking about my living situation to other people, I almost feel slightly ashamed and embarrassed to state that I still live at home. Today it is so hard to not compare yourself to other people, I know that the majority of people I went to school with have moved out of their parents’ house years ago, with many of them being married and with children. But I really shouldn’t have to feel the way I do when I say I still live at home, everyone has their own reason why but a part of me feels like I didn’t live up to my own expectations of myself.
This sounds like a very negative post, but there are many perks of living at home in your twenties. It allows you to save money, or to have money to spend elsewhere. I know if I didn’t live at home I more than likely wouldn’t have money to spend on going travelling and that there is an endless list of bills that my parents have to pay out every month that I don’t have to worry about at all. I am pretty lucky in the fact that I do not really have to do much around the house, I am not saying that I don’t help out because I do BUT there are times when I don’t have to make myself something to eat, or when I feel lazy someone else might make be a cup of tea, those kind of things. There is always someone there to help out.
Even though I am finally moving out and moving away for university, and I am looking forward to feeling like an adult for once and looking after myself completely. I know there will be so many things that I will miss about living at home, so many things that I have taken for granted. I would love to hear your thoughts about living at home when you are technically an adult, do you love it, hate it etc.